They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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