Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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