Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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