i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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