Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
