Ambien. No doubt about it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
