how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
