My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
