Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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