I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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