I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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