Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
