I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
