so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
