My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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