kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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