Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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