I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Randomize
