do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
