Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
