If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
