I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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