absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize