Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.