I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."