if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him