What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams