I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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