And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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