im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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