I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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