Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
