there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
