can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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