haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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