Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hippo gnu deer
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
