Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
