I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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