i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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