May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
