I wannas sexs uuuuu
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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