nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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