I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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