toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
