You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
