Yo dont text me then not text me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
