Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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