So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
