the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
