Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
