My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
