And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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