dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
