I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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