butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
