I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
