It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
