Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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