if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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