I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
