Dual....:-)
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
