"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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