i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
