Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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