I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
