why didn't you poke me back
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Randomize
