Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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