You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
