It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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